Days

There's a strong sense of gratitude right now.

A year after the diagnosis I'm living in a way

I could never have imagined then, around

people I'd never have known.

Lots going on, I love it all - though sometimes I'd love a bit less! The joy of being able to say yes.

Monday. Prepped one of the veg beds

with luscious layers for the worms to transform.

Newspapers, cardboard, soil conditioner,

last year’s grass cuttings, home-made compost,

avocado skins and eggshells still whole over the months.

Lynn and I talked and toiled, worms and veg to come.

Zoomed with Mary in New York. Talked about running

dementia groups with them. Excitement, a sense of the new

wriggling into place with what’s already grown.

Worked out how to use a glue gun with YouTube.

Glued the pinboards onto a wall in the workroom.

That plan’s fermented for a while, waiting for the courage to try.

Made kimchi - it’s still bubbling in the kitchen.

Carrots, spring onions, gochugaru, ginger, radishes.

Made butternut curry. Scandi thriller, knitting.

Tuesday. Aqua aerobics. Next to me two people talked

all through the session. Righteous anger, distraction -

more to work with, to digest, transform.

Talked to three people about the dementia group.

I probably said too much, but they seemed to hear.

Maybe it could change something, soften the stigma crust.

Talked to a researcher, just a few minutes. Another researcher

cancelled a one-hour session, lobbed it a few weeks into the future.

Elliot’s first day at big school. Memories, photos, thinking of him.

This afternoon the rain has started to fill the new water butt,

so the garden has to do without me. Write, sort out wrapping paper,

some free hours. Doze, read, whatever comes to mind.